Over the past year or so, the most popular questions that I have received are “What are you up to now?” “Where have you been?” Such great questions, and valid questions as to why I haven’t shared much about my whereabouts over the past 2-3 years. In all honesty, I have struggled with the fear of judgement and losing respect or friendships I have built over the course of my life. It is funny to think that I have been scared or ashamed to share something that has helped me through some of the most challenging moments in my life so far. Some of you may have heard some of this. Some of you may have heard all of it. I appreciate you taking the time to listen either way!
In August of 2019, I applied for a job at Arrow Child & Family Ministries in Towson. I had just had surgery and had wrapped up two years of teaching in Woodlawn. At the time, I needed another surgery and needed a consistent job to save up for this. When I applied as a teacher, I told them about having my medical card, questioning if this would be an issue with administration or with me holding the position. I shared specifically with the head of HR that I did not want to take this position if having my medical card was going to cause issues for me later down the line, as I knew they had a no-drug policy at the school. The Head of HR told me that there would be no issues and they would confirm my prescription if any questions or issues arose. She assured that all would be fine. I only accepted the position upon this conversation with her.
In November of 2019, after a few months of teaching, I was in love with the position. I stayed late every night, working on ideas that I had for teaching these special needs students. I was obsessed with laminating, with creating physical items the children could use to learn. Something they could continue to come back to, something that would reinforce the information that they were actively learning. I was able to take them on weekly field trips to a public space where they could learn to interact with others.
I knew upon accepting this job that it came with risks. Being someone with a chronic illness and daily migraines, working in a space with special needs students, I knew that one of the students may unintentionally hurt me at some point. I was punched in the head a few times. The main injury I received was a bite to the knuckle, which cut it open. I went to Patient First. I was painfully unaware of the “Workers Comp” procedures. I submitted to the process, peed in a cup, and confirmed all of my prescriptions with the medical team as we discussed.
On Thursday, November 14th, 2019, I took the students on a field trip to the mall. We had a good time, we ate Chick-fil-A. Upon our return, I started a history lesson. One of the administrators called me into the front office. Upon entering the office, there sat the head of HR. She sat me down and let me know that they were terminating my employment due to my positive drug test for marijuana. They had me sign a form stating that I understood why I was being let go, though I didn’t have to agree with it. They walked me back to my classroom, made me pack my things in front of my students and my staff, and escorted me to my vehicle outside. I was then blocked in by the buses for 20 minutes while crying, as students, parents and teachers loaded into buses and cars, passing me in the midst of my distress.
I was publicly fired, publicly embarrassed, and publicly outed. Within 24 hours, everyone knew that I used cannabis, that I had my medical card, and that was the reason I lost my job. This school used me as their scapegoat, knowing that more than half of the staff were using cannabis without a medical card, and publicly shared my personal information with staff and parents. They wanted to send a message to the staff. Mission accomplished. The humiliation that I felt at this time was one of the most vulnerable moments in my life.
After this, I went into hiding. I reached out to family to let them know what happened. A week or so later in November 2019, I took up a job with a phenomenal company that my family worked for, that some still work for. I was definitely unstable, but grateful for a place to collect myself and rebuild. In 2020, I took the time to get the surgery I needed for my neck. It was at this stage of regrowth that my roommate and former high school friend bailed on the lease, leaving me in an incredible amount of debt with no chance at finding another roommate during the height of COVID. My emotional and physical capacity were back to 0.
A few months later, I was driving home from my desk job when I was rear-ended in the Fort McHenry Tunnel in Baltimore. A man was texting as traffic came to a stop, so he didn’t. I was in a crap ton of pain. I started getting daily migraines again. I went back to the surgeon who completed my surgery and he came to the conclusion that I had re-injured my occipital nerve. If I did a second surgery, I would risk losing the feeling in the back of my head forever. I decided I didn’t want to risk that, and would instead continue treatments to address the symptoms of the injury. I was still paying off debt, and this certainly added to it. I still have yet to receive a penny from insurance for this accident.
I decided to try to find a second job, though my physical strength was still not back to 100%. In May of 2021, I saw a post from a local dispensary that all of my friends raved about. They were holding open interviews. Of course, I had to work at my desk job during this time. But I messaged them letting them know I would love to drop off my resume on my way home, though I wouldn’t be able to make it in time for the interviews. After my shift ended, I drove from Laurel to Mt. Vernon to drop my resume at ReLeaf Shop. When I arrived, they said they still had time for one more interview. I went upstairs and interviewed on the spot.
After my second interview, I was offered a job. I started part-time at ReLeaf Shop, first as a receptionist and graduating to budtending. I did 2 nights a week and Friday/Saturday shifts. I fell in love with it so quickly, it was a whole new world to be around people who were not afraid or ashamed to say that they used cannabis to medicate. Hearing success stories of people who quit hard drugs or dropped all prescription medicines to use a plant as their one true medicine, was incredibly inspiring and humbling. The range of people, personalities, and medical conditions I have encountered has taught me so much and made me want to dive further into this industry.
After a few months of working at ReLeaf Shop, I started to get restless at my desk job. It didn’t do for me in two years what working at the shop did in a few months. I couldn’t connect with people and discuss such powerful plant medicine with the ease of comfortability that I could in the presence of other medical patients. I felt trapped in a world that didn’t accept me for who I was. I discussed with my family and friends what the pros and cons of moving to the shop full-time would bring me. Ultimately, I decided that my mental and physical health were worth more than staying at a desk job that was stressful just for the pay. I transitioned to ReLeaf Shop full-time in August of 2021.
In December of 2021, just before my birthday, I was actually featured in Maryland’s first Cannabis magazine, Maryland Leaf Magazine. This is available monthly in every dispensary across the state for free. I will post the link at the end of this section if anyone would like to see the spread. It was an honor and a blessing to be chosen as the “Patient of the Month” last December. It is amazing to hear a new story every month about how cannabis helps patients and budtenders on a daily basis with so many different medical conditions. See the December 2021 issue of Maryland Leaf Magazine here! Thank you to Wyatt Early for the photos!
I have been working at this dispensary for a year and 4 months. I am now on the inventory team and get to do more work behind-the-scenes. This is perfect for me since I love organizational things and also need time to myself with the daily migraines. My bosses and coworkers keep me laughing on a daily basis. Not all days are sunshine and rainbows, but we all lift each other up and support each other wherever we can. One of the pros of working in the health industry is working with others that know the constant struggle of chronic illnesses or health ailments. They are not afraid to tell you that you need to take a break or take a breath. I am grateful every day that I found my people.
This community extends far beyond the dispensary as well. Through Instagram, I have found a cannabis-friendly community that is beyond supportive of anything and everything I want to do. They have encouraged me to pursue my passions, return to once-ditched passions, and to challenge myself in ways that I never thought possible. With the support of this community, I have continued to work on my blog, started a podcast, and began to create cannabis-centered and educational images that I hope to one day see in stores and on people’s shirts, backpacks, notebooks, etc. I am taking my history with teaching and evolving it into a new field. I am so excited to share all of my ideas and creations with the world. If you would like to take a look, feel free to check out @josmithcreations on Instagram. I have also gotten back into my photography and have so many cool things planned. If you have something you would like me to capture, feel free to reach out.
Moving forward, I plan on creating more educational content, working with some local vendors to teach some classes and plan events, and to continue to expand my podcast to share my story. My interview series will begin within the next two months! I take great inspiration from a good friend named Blair. She consistently challenges me to look inwards at myself and identify what it is that is holding me back, then move past it. It is partly due to her and partly due to two incredible canna-moms – The High Ladies Podcast, that I began to share my voice. Thank you all, and I LOVE YOU!
If you have any questions or would like to discuss anything I mentioned, feel free to reach out. I have finally come to amends with the fact that you cannot please everyone. I have finally found my place and my people. Thank you for your time and your support!
Bluntly Bookish in Baltimore 