The holidays brings about a feeling of stress and uneasiness for some of us. Others – pure joy and excitement. The fact is that not everyone is comfortable with or enjoys the holidays. For some of us, these annual events bring up things from the past that we are trying to forget. For others, it is just an extremely challenging time. We need to treat other people with extreme care during holidays – you never know what someone has been through or is going through at the time. If you expect kindness during the holiday season, show it to others as much as you can.
One other extremely important thing to touch on – if someone talks about the holidays and how they do not see certain family, do not emphasize that
“it’s the holidays! Everyone should be with their family on holidays!”
“life is too short to hold grudges. Move on.”
YOU do NOT know their relationship with their family, nor do you have the right to assume. Some people have poor relationships with their family members and that is OKAY. It is none of your business. Family comes in so many forms – blood doesn’t always mean they’re the best family for someone.
NOVEMBER HOLIDAYS –
In the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving, I came to a few realizations about some events in my personal history. This brought about feelings of confusion and discomfort, especially knowing that I would be around my family for the holiday. Though not all of my family knows about this, it still gives me anxiety to keep this a secret, especially considering that some of my family members still spend a lot of time with the people involved in my trauma.
On the morning of Thanksgiving, I was on day 2 off of one of my anxiety medicines. Between processing the events I had recently remembered and my general anxiety disorder, I woke up in an already-anxious state. I couldn’t explain my feelings coherently and felt unprepared, leading to a full-blown panic attack and an argument with my boyfriend. I will be completely honest when I say that this was one of the worst panic attacks I have had in a while. I ended up punching the bathroom door twice and laying on the bathroom floor to cry/scream. Not a proud moment.
Events like this make me realize that mental health is always an ongoing process. I will have good days and I will have bad days. There may be things that trigger me that I have no idea why, but I can do my part to keep track of them, document them, and work on those so that I have a chance of remaining untriggered in the future. I can continue to work on my mental health every day and try new techniques to assist with calming me down. I definitely need to work on the things that I say when I am in my “panic attack mode”.
DECEMBER HOLIDAYS –
With my birthday being tomorrow and Christmas being less than a week away, it has been triggering some of these same feelings and emotions. Especially considering that I am no longer on a SINGLE anxiety medicine and have been dealing with the withdrawal symptoms for some time now. Between figuring out time with family around the holiday hours that I will be working and the schedules of extended family, the scheduling part is definitely is not easy. I know that most humans struggle during the holidays, which is why I want to be so open with my struggles.
The main thing that gets me through these hectic and stressful moments as ALWAYS is cannabis. It’s the one thing I can rely on to settle or calm my migraines, brain zaps, eye pulsing, nausea, & anxiety/depression as well as countless other things on a daily basis. I am now down to one pill & a regular regimen of cannabis and I can already tell you my body and mind are doing so much better than before.
A few things I have started to do because of my increased anxiety:
1. Listening to “The Mindset Mentor” podcast on Spotify – He has a special guest on most episodes and they discuss mental health as well as ways to set positive intentions/mindsets.
2. “The Five Minute Journal” App – You journal once in the morning and once in the afternoon. There are specific questions to answer about how your day went and if you would change anything. You can add pictures and videos with a subscription, which I did get. This has been giving me the space to track my health and wellness without having to pull out my planner every day.
3. “Headspace” App – Using the app for at least one daily meditation session. Starting with 5-10 minutes and will expand from there. Eventually will use what I learn from this to branch back into yoga.
4. Therapy Gecko – Therapy Gecko is a man who dresses up in a green gecko outfit, paints his face green, and talks to people on a live stream every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. He typically starts with a question about life and expands the conversation from there. I have been in tears laughing so hard at some of the things they talk about. Definitely a great livestream or podcast to listen to if you are in need of a good laugh. I know that he is on Spotify, YouTube and Twitch. If you are looking for a good intro, look at the “Best of Therapy Gecko” Volume 1 on Spotify (definitely one of my favorite compilations).
I will keep you all updated on how the holidays go. If you have any other suggestions for me or others during the holiday season, please feel free to comment or reach out. I would love to discuss the anxious and stressful feelings surrounding holidays and what methods you use to cope with them.
Wishing all of you happy and healing vibes this holiday season! Thank you for your time.
Bluntly Bookish in Baltimore 